life is wild right now. i guess it always is.
i'm in the process of archiving this blog, and then i'm gonna delete it. it's been over four years? and i'm just ready for something else. i think i was 20 when i started it, and this year i'll be 26. i don't post to it often anyway.
i've been doing a good bit of traveling the last few months; seeing new places, visiting familiar ones, planning my next big move. historically, apart from tour, i have almost exclusively traveled alone, and sometimes in the midst of it, i think of how nice it would be to have someone else there. when i'm traveling i'm not lonely. i get so much done in my head when i travel alone, i'm not sure i'd want it any other way. i think i need to be separated from situations, on airplanes or in train cars, to really get a handle on my surroundings and my feelings. it's a bubble.
the last month or so i've been working hard to get the
monitors tour booked, and it's almost there. we leave in exactly three weeks. it's going to be wonderful and sweaty and i'm probably going to die from the heat behind my drum kit, but i can't wait. we're recording next weekend, and i think we are all pretty excited for that. i always find myself playing in such precarious projects; be they temporary, transient or random. this one is no different. i'm hard pressed to predict what will happen with monitors when granger goes overseas, when i decide to move, after tour, after tomorrow. i've sort of always wanted something consistent in that regard. i just don't think it's how things are going to play out. i'd never be satisfied putting all of my creative eggs into one basket anyway. nothing lasts forever and i think that's a big part of what makes things special.
in the past three years i have played a total of two solo shows. i'm going to play another one on sunday. i think the songs i write are too personal and sad for me to play in front of people often. it's not like a band. it's not even really fun. it's like ripping a page out of a diary and reading it aloud or something. there's no censorship, there isn't much metaphor, though i make an attempt. when it's just me, i have a hard time not being honest. and honest is usually really sad.
in the meantime, i work, a lot, i work to balance working a lot with giving myself ample room and time to rest. most of my energy has shifted from songwriting and recording to editing and illustrating my first graphic novel, tentatively titled SPILLS. it took me 26 years to live it and over three years (and counting) to write it and i have no idea how long to finish it. organizing my thoughts and experience linearly has been one of the most difficult artistic endeavors i have attempted.
something clicked in my brain and i can't go back to how i used to feel about things. i'll take this as a positive shift and keep looking ahead.
